I want to hang out with Edward Bess…
I mean, have you seen this man’s mane? It looks like it should be moving in slo-mo in a shampoo commercial with, like, birds singing in the background and sh*t.
We could hang out, talk hair, and chat about the $75 Edward’s Best 8-Color Lipstick Palette and how it’s creamy lipstick heaven in a pan. Eventually, I’d segue into my master plan to become the world’s first lipstick nomad/cat lady.
We’d be at Starbucks. I’d reach across the small table, take his hands in mine and say, “Edward, I think it would be really cool to travel the world with a whole cadre of lipsticks, like 100 of them, and take pics of myself wearing a different shade in every new location.”
He would respond, “That’s a wonderful idea, Karen. Let me help you…”
The pigmented lippies in this 8-pan palette could get me through at least one country — perhaps one with a dry, cold climate, since all of these are crazy moisturizing, and wearing them soothes my lips like ahhhhh.
“Edward,” I’d ask, taking a sip of my pumpkin spice latte, “may I french braid your hair?”
“Of course,” he’d reply. “You may.”