Wearing Dolce & Gabbana’s Voluptuous Lipstick in Gentle Monica 70, one of three new shades in the True Monica collection

My favorite thing about the three new Dolce & Gabbana Voluptuous Lipsticks in the True Monica collection? That even if you’re clad in frayed sweatpants and a t-shirt peppered with holes, and your hair passed the point when it probably should’ve been washed THREE DAYS AGO, and there are still sticky boogers all up in your eyes because you decided not to wash your face this morning…you’ll still feel like a seductive Italian screen siren wearing one of them, pouty lips and all.

Clockwise from the left: Nude Monica 20, True Monica 40 and Gentle Monica 70

The three $33 lipsticks, each of them inspired by Italian actress/model/all-around hot babe Monica Bellucci, whom you might remember from The Matrix Reloaded, or more recently from The Whistleblower with Rachel Weisz, and one of her signature makeup looks with smokey eyes and nude-toned, full lips.

From the left: Nude Monica 20, True Monica 40 and Gentle Monica 70

For the all important question: “Which of these warm, creamy lip colors would I wear to jury duty or the DMV?”

The answer: “Any of them.” Creamy beige Nude Monica, pinkish beige True Monica or pale rose Gentle Monica.

But why stop at the courthouse? Slip one on anytime you want to stop traffic, perhaps with your hair down, a pair of femme fatale high heels and a body-con dress.

Nude Monica 20

Wearing the new Dolce & Gabbana Smoky Smooth Eye Colour Quad

I love the new neutral Dolce & Gabbana Smoky Smooth Eye Colour Quad ($59) like…like Mariah loves wind machines. Like Iron Man loves tinkering. Like Portlandia loves bird motifs (“Put a bird on it!”). Like Ben Affleck loves beards. Like drag queens love contouring…

For me, good neutral quads are like tropical vacations. They just make everything better.

When I’m stumped for what to wear with crazy colors like that hot pink glitter over there (ooh!) or that matte red blush over there (ah!), I’ll go with one, two — or when I’m feeling more adventurous — three or four neutrals on my eyes.

Why?

Because they go with everything!

But…

…not all neutral quads get it right.

Sometimes, there are problems with the powders, and the shadows end up on my cheeks. Other times, they’re way too pigmented, or not pigmented enough, or they pull a David Copperfield and disappear right before my eyes, or they’re just annoyingly chalky.

But the matte black, pearly neutral gold, shimmery chocolate brown and shimmery golden beige in Dolce & Gabbana’s Smoky Quad do WERK!

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The new Dolce & Gabbana Graphite Intense Khol Eye Crayon, $30

“A storm’s brewin’…”

I always wanted to say that. Storms are brewing within Dolce & Gabbana’s new $30 Graphite pencil — a rain cloud of a blackened gray liner for lash and water lines, and my new gunmetal gray liner love.

There’s something almost meteorological about this deep, dark gunmetal… Micro flecks of shimmer dance along its surface like little lightning sparks.

It’s quite the Gothic scene, too, like a sweet lace dress with black leather cuffs and spikes — the perfect marriage of delicate and dangerous. Classic with an edge. Kittens with claws.

Graphite on my water lines

Kicking off the week with a beautiful start! Well, trying to at least.

Last weekend, ugh! — totally floored me. That two-day migraine felt like a symphony of jackhammers in my head, and it was rough. It’s gone now, thank goodness, and I’m feeling more like myself again.

So, earlier today, just as I was about to jump back into the pet assisting grind, I thought, “Ya know what? What I need right now is to do something that makes me feel really, REALLY great, even if it’s just for a half an hour.”

I needed a beauty pick-me-up, so I made a cup of chamomile tea, grabbed a few new fave beauty products from René Furterer, Repêchage, Dolce & Gabbana and Estée Lauder, and told Tabs that I’d back to work in a few.

René Furterer Karité Intense Nourishing Mask

René Furterer Karité Intense Nourishing Mask ($46), available now at salons, beauty stores and online

First order of business: a hot shower and René Furterer’s Karité Intense Nourishing Mask ($46 for a 6.93-ounce jar), a five-minute deep conditioning treatment for dry hair that smoothes and hydrates with a mix of fair-trade shea butter and plant oils.

I just started using it last week, and I think it’s the reason why I had a series of near-epic hair days — like, the best I’ve had in months. Karité adds body, shine and leaves my hair smelling like lilies. I love it!

Repêchage Hydra Dew Illuminating Cream Mask

Repêchage Hydra Dew Illuminating Cream Mask ($38), available now at spas and online

Have I mentioned that I’ve been on a face mask kick? I don’t know, but there’s something about a good face mask that gives me…hope, LOL! I’m also a big fan of sitting on my butt and doing absolutely nothing while I wait for a mask to work its magic.

My skin’s been a little dry lately (you know, ’cause winter) so after I jumped out of the shower, I applied a layer of Illuminating Cream Mask for Normal to Dry Skin ($38 for a 2-ounce tube) by Repêchage, an under-the-radar brand actually carried in spas all over the world. Their whole line contains products with “nutrient-rich seaweed” harvested off the Brittany Coast of France.

After 10 minutes, I tissued off the mask and could almost hear my skin sighing with relief. Ahh…

Dolce & Gabbana Desire

Dolce & Gabbana Desire Eau de Parfum ($93), available now at Dolce & Gabbana counters and online

If I could, I’d hug every single one of the perfumers over at Dolce & Gabbana. I feel like they get me, ya know (says the girl who wore Light Blue on her wedding day)?

Desire’s, a de-lovely fruity floral, is their newest scent ($93 for a 1.6-ounce bottle). It lasts all day long for me and brings to mind overseas adventures, exploring foreign cities at night with a new love.

The official fragrance notes include…

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Wearing the new Dolce & Gabbana Glam Liner in Baroque Silver ($34) on my upper lash lines

It happens to every black cat liner lover eventually…

The rut. You fall into one. One day, there you are, just going about your business and finishing up those TPS reports at your desk, when you peer into your makeup bag and ask yourself, “Hmm…what liner should I wear?”

And then you snap. “Oh, yeah. Black Liner! Again! For like the umpteenth time in a row!”

I’m definitely guilty of falling into that rut. On the one hand, “Cat eyes are classic and never go out of style!” But on the other, sometimes you just gotta paint yourself out of that corner, which is where these new metallic Dolce & Gabbana’s Glam Liners ($34 each) come in.

Like makeup made for angels, these long-lasting liquid liners shimmer and shine. Glittery gunmetal gray Baroque Silver, glittery burnished copper Baroque Bronze and gilded gold Baroque (not shown here) burst on the scene with the new Animalier holiday collection, bound and determined to break up the beautiful monotony of black liner.

And, hello, lazy brigade! — they couldn’t be a whole lot easier to use. Dolce & Gabbana included a soft, skinny brush with just enough give to it to give me (and hopefully you) lots of control over your line weights.

They also developed a quick-drying liquid formula that doesn’t creep…into fine lines.

The result? How ’bout crisp, sharp edges like a samurai’s katana — and perfect cat eye flicks requiring next to no effort.

Oh, and then there’s the tiny flecks of multicolored glitter, which I find pretty hard to resist…

The Glam Liners on the lower left

Baroque Bronze on the left and Baroque Silver on the right… See those teeny, tiny flecks of glitter? Cute!