Archive - Makeup

7 Cat Lady Things You Could Do While Wearing the 7 New NARS Lip Gloss Shades

Published in: Lips, Makeup, NARS

NARS Priscilla Lip Gloss

A crazy cat lady holding a cat flask while wearing the new NARS Lip Gloss in Priscilla, a shocking pink

What are some things you can do while wearing the seven brand new shades in the newly reformulated NARS Lip Gloss line?

Hmm… Well, you could start writing that young adult novel you’ve been meaning to, and by “you” I mean me (and maybe also you); you could have donuts for dinner; or, if you’re a cat lady like me, you could…

1. Hug your cat while wearing NARS Lip Gloss in Tasmania

NARS Tasmania Lip Gloss

That’s me wearing NARS Lip Gloss in Tasmania, a pink cantaloupe

If time permits, bury your face in his or her tummy while saying, “Mmmmm, delicious tabby belly meat!”

Do this until he or she gets angry.

2. Fall in love at the Humane Society while wearing NARS Lip Gloss in Sixties Fan

NARS Sixties Fan Lip Gloss

Here I’m wearing NARS Lip Gloss in Sixties Fan, a pomegranate

While there, you could also seriously consider adopting a cat. Or two. Or twelve. And pretend not to hear your husband when he says, “Twelve is just too many!”

NARS Sixties Fan Lip Gloss

Even Kanji the kitty loves NARS Sixties Fan Lip Gloss

I mean, how could you not fall in love with a kitty like Kanji, a gorgeous boy with the most beautiful blue eyes in the world?!

3. Wear a cat t-shirt to the mall while wearing NARS Lip Gloss in Salamanca

NARS Salamanca Lip Gloss

That’s NARS Lip Gloss in Salamanca, a pink flamingo, on my lips

Bonus points if the cat on your shirt is wearing glasses.

4. Look for kitty-themed home decor at Anthropologie while wearing NARS Lip Gloss in Quito

NARS Quito Lip Gloss

Here I’m wearing NARS Lip Gloss in Quito, a bright strawberry pink


Because surrounding yourself (and your kitty and non-kitty companions) with cat-themed home decor takes your cat lady-ness to the next level.
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What the Bite Beauty Matte Creme Lip Crayons Are Really Thinking About at Sephora, Plus New Divergent-Themed Makeup and Givenchy Ombre Couture

Published in: Bite Beauty, Makeup, Sephora

A visit to Sephora


The following is an un-redacted transcript of a conversation that occurred among the six $24 limited edition Bite Beauty Matte Creme Lip Crayons at the Novato, California, Sephora store at precisely 9:55 a.m. on Wednesday, April 2, 2014.

KUMQUAT: Wake up, you guys! Show time in five minutes. Chop-chop!

GRAPE: Awwww, come on, man! Just 10 more minutes, please? I’m so sleepy…

KUMQUAT: No way, Grape. Everyone, UP! UP! UP! We need to look perky when the store opens. Remove your caps, back straight, and get in position. Stand proud like the pigmented lipsticks you are!

CLEMENTINE: Geez Louise, Kumquat! — chill! I don’t see why we have to hurry. I mean, who visits a Sephora at 10 o’clock sharp on a Wednesday?

We have time. Let’s have a nice breakfast together as a family for once. I could make those pigment pancakes you like? :)

KUMQUAT: Absolutely not. I shouldn’t have to say this, again, but we stand at the front of the store.

The front of the store! Do you have any idea what that means?! We have to look our best every day. It’s…

Wait — shhh! Don’t make a sound. Someone just walked through the door…


SATSUMA: Oh, it’s that same girl from the other day again, the one who’s always covered in cat hair.

Why is she always here?! And doesn’t she have one of those pet hair roller things? I mean, come on! This is Sephora, for crying out loud. Sacred ground. People be rollin’ up here in skinny jeans lookin’ like they just fell out of bed two minutes ago.

SWEETY: Be nice, Satsuma. I see her all the time. She’s actually pretty cool. She takes pics and swatches for her friends. I think she’s on YouTube…

BLOOD ORANGE: Oh, really? Pictures, you say? Well, point her my way because I love having my picture taken.


KUMQUAT: Just stop it already! She’s coming over. Remember, the customers can’t know that we talk amongst ourselves. We’re supposed to be inanimate. Stand straight, shut up and sit still. It’s time to go to work!

Bite Beauty Matte Cream Lip Crayons, $24

The $24 Bite Beauty Matte Cream Lip Crayons

Bite Beauty Matte Lip Crayon Swatches from the left: Blood Orange, Clementine, Grape, Kumquat, Satsuma and Sweety

Bite Beauty Matte Lip Crayon Swatches from the left in Blood Orange, Clementine, Grape, Kumquat, Satsuma and Sweety

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Clinique High Impact Extreme Volume Mascara and a Good Morning Routine Just Might Make for a Great Frickin’ Day

Published in: Clinique, Eyes, Makeup, Product Reviews

Clinique High Impact Extreme Volume Mascara

Wearing two coats of Clinique High Impact Extreme Volume Mascara ($19.50) on my upper and lower lashes

This post is first and foremost a review of Clinique’s High Impact Extreme Volume Mascara ($19.50)…

Clinique High Impact Extreme Volume Mascara

Clinique High Impact Extreme Volume Mascara, $19.50

…but before we get to that, I just need to say, DUDE. Seriously, if you are not a morning person, I get it. I totally get it. Weekday mornings?! Ugh, mine are almost always rough — rough like that sketchy off-brand toilet paper El Hub always buys, even though I’ve told him about a billion times that “Charmin Ultra Soft is the only way to go.” (Note to self: stop asking that man to buy toilet paper.)

When my alarm sounds, I open my eyes and start mentally ticking off the things I want to do that day (good grief, why is that list always so hella long?!). Oftentimes, even before I get out of bed, a sense of panic has set in…

But ya know, gotta get up. Gotta get going. Can’t hide under the covers, as tempting as that sounds sometimes.

You know how it is. Some mornings you’re faced with a choice — a choice between indulging your inner grumpy goat and letting her wreak havoc, or doing everything in your power to have a GREAT FRICKIN’ DAY!

I usually shoot for the latter (not always successfully, mind you), and most of the time when things work out fairly well, I seem to have followed a morning routine very similar to this one:

  • I get out of bed right when the alarm goes off, versus hitting the snooze button and falling back to sleep. If I hit the snooze, even if it’s just for 10 more minutes, I may get up feeling groggy.
  • I have my first cup of coffee and quickly get a little food in my tum
  • I get my booty in motion by either walking or running on the treadmill for at least 20 minutes, during which time I’ll listen to some upbeat music and/or mull over what I want to accomplish that day.
  • I primp and do whatever I can to feel cute — taking a shower, fixing my hair, applying makeup (this morning I filled in my brows, applied under-eye concealer, some High Impact Extreme Volume Mascara on my upper and lower lashes, and lipgloss) and picking an outfit that isn’t likely to be 1) mistaken for workout wear or 2) ratty pajamas.

More often than not, when I follow this routine, I have a pretty good day.

How about you? What’s your “good day” morning routine like? :)

Now, on to Clinique’s High Impact Extreme Volume Mascara…

Clinique’s High Impact Extreme Volume Mascara has actually been on counters for a while, but I only just recently gave it a try. With its oversized brush, it’s designed for dramatic lashes with extreme thickness and volume, and safe for sensitive eyes and contact lens wearers. It’s also available in two shades — 01 Extreme Black, which is the color I’ve been wearing, and 02 Black — both available now at Clinique counters and

So, my natural lashes? Well, let’s just that they don’t stop traffic. They probably wouldn’t even stop a slow-moving Radio Flyer Red Wagon, LOL! They’re mediocre at best — not too long, thick, full, nor curly. Just…there.

Mascara is an everyday must for me, and the more extreme, the better. So, yeah, I was all over this stuff as soon as I read the name on the tube — Clinique High Impact Extreme Volume Mascara.

Clinique High Impact Extreme Volume Mascara Brush

Long, oversized brush with small, stubby bristles

What’s the lash look?

Two or three coats deliver thick, glossy fringe, without any clumps or crispiness, but I’d be hesitant to call the look, “extreme.” More like “lush, but not dramatic. Like something I’d wear if I wanted a natural look, but FYI: my idea of natural lashes is what a drag queen would wear on her day off. :)

Also, it doesn’t lift a lash curl as much as I usually like, but since it isn’t billed as a lash-curling mascara, that’s no big whoop.

Staying power and removal?

As long as I don’t rub my eyes or futz with them, I get about 8-10 hours without a smudge or flake.

That’s good.

Removal’s also easy. I don’t even have to use a separate eye makeup remover. My regular, and always dependable, Neutrogena Gentle Cleanser and warm water does the trick.
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MAC Patentpolish Lip Pencil Swatches and a Break in the Storm

Published in: Lips, MAC Makeup, Makeup

MAC Patentpolish Lip Pencils

All 12 of the new MAC Patentpolish Lip Pencils, $20 each

It has been gloomy, wet and gray here all day today, both outside my house and inside my head.

CRANKY! — with a capital B for BRAT. That’s what I’ve been today.

Not even swatching all 12 of the new MAC Patentpolish Lip Pencils could cheer me up, which is like…unfathomable.

I mean, hello! — they have names like “Pleasant,” “Fearless” and “Revved Up,” and just look at how bright and shiny they are. Oh, yeah, and supremely moisturizing.

I just felt cooped up, tense and scatterbrained this afternoon. At one point I turned on Milli Vanilli’s Blame It on the Rain and listened to that for a while…

Didn’t help, so I just sat in my chair and pouted. :(

And then, finally, there was a break in the storm we’re having (which, incidentally, laid waste to my deck garden), and I saw sunshine outside. Sweet blue skies and sunshine, rejoice!

I pulled on my Zella hoodie, a pair of tennies and told Tabs, “BRB.” Then I went for a walk.

Just walked around my circle, down the big hill, then up the street and back. I looked for cats but didn’t see any. I also made myself look at random things — everything — really closely, like at the glistening wet asphalt and the rain drops hanging from the pine needles overhead and the lavender bushes along the side of the road and how they all lean the same direction together like choreographed dancers.

And then I felt better.

Better about everything.

Isn’t that weird? I spent hours today unsuccessfully trying to will myself to feel better (it’s nothing, really, just one of those days), and Mother Nature did it in 10 minutes.

That’s some powerful stuff right there. :)

In other news…here are swatches of the 12 new MAC Patentpolishes on my NC42 kisser (they’re $20 each US, $24 CDN).

I reviewed them last week but didn’t swatch all of the colors, so here goes. Maybe if you’re trying to decide among them, the swatches will help.

The MAC Patentpolishes are available online now at and coming April 3 to North American MAC counters (internationally this May).

MAC Patentpolish Lip Pencil in Sultana, a dark grape

Sultana, a dark grape

MAC Patentpolish Lip Pencil in Berry Bold, an orangey red

Berry Bold, an orangey red

MAC Patentpolish Lip Pencil in Teen Dream, a bright coral-orange

Teen Dream, a bright coral-orange

MAC Patentpolish Lip Pencil in Pleasant, a rosy pink

Pleasant, a rosy pink

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Guerlain Is Cooking Up Delicious New Lip Looks With Seven New Rouge G Lipstick Shades

Published in: Guerlain, Lips, Makeup, Product Reviews

Guerlain Rose Grenat

Cooking with K-Dawg and T-Money!


Hi, everyone, and welcome to Cooking With K-Dawg and T-Money, the number one cooking show on TTCTV (Tabs the Cat TV), where we teach you absolutely nothing about food.

That’s right! — not a damned thing. :)

Hungry for homemade pasta? Salivating over sushi? Craving killer creppes? GURL, you won’t hear about any of that stuff here.

That’s because we dish about makeup, and today we’re cooking up delicious looks for lips with some new products from Guerlain.

Wearing the new Guerlain Rouge G in 864 Rose Grenat ($51), new for Spring 2014

Wearing Guerlain Rouge G in 864 Rose Grenat ($51), new for Spring 2014

Shoo’, I couldn’t cook my way out of a paper bag, and my cat co-host Tabs lacks opposable thumbs, so he’s no cordon bleu chef, either.

Wearing the new Guerlain Rouge G in 864 Rose Grenat ($51), new for Spring 2014

My bad…

Oh! — I’ve just been corrected by my producer. Apparently, I should have referred to my kitty co-host as, “Internationally renowned plus-size kitty supermodel, hip-hop mogul and founding member of Kitty Mensa Tabs the Cat.”

My bad.

Let’s get started. Step one: prepping our ingredients. :)

Four of the seven new Guerlain Rouge G's

Four of the seven new Guerlain Rouge G’s, $51 each, coming next month to Guerlain counters and online

It’s important to use the freshest ingredients, so today we’ll be working with a new crop of Rouge G Lipsticks ($51 each).

Four of the 7 new Guerlain Rouge G's

Four of the seven new spring 2014 Guerlain Rouge G’s

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