Because we’re friends, I’m going to tell you the real reason I’m head over heels in love with Bobbi Brown’s $18 Black Pearl Nail Polish without you thinking that I’m cuckoo for Cocoa Puffs.

Okay, here goes…

It’s the color of Darth Vader’s helmet.

I spent years scouring the universe (and nail polish displays) for a nail polish the color of Vader’s helmet, and finally, after all these years, success! Mwahahahahaaa!

Emperor Palpatine will be pleased…

($18; available now at Bobbi Brown counters and bobbibrowncosmetics.com)

Sure, Vader’s a really bad guy, but you have to admit — that helmet holds a certain allure.

It’s shiny, which I like, and the color’s quite complex (like Vader himself). Sometimes, it looks more gray than black, and when the light hits it right, I see dark, gloomy purple undertones…

If I ever bump into George Lucas again at the movies, I’m telling him about Bobbi’s Black Pearl Polish because I think Darth would totally love it, especially on his toes, where he could probably get away with a single pigmented coat.

I can see it now… Vader, at the end of a long day hunting down rebels on the Death Star, takes off his boots for a few minutes of “me time” while painting his nails.
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Wearing Bobbi Brown Brightening Lip Gloss in Moonlight Pearl

If I were a pirate…my makeup collection would be my pirate’s booty, yargh!

And like most swashbuckling sailors of the seven seas (at least the ones in Hollywood movies), I’d wear a lot of looks featuring dark black eyeliner (hello, have you seen Jack Sparrow’s water line?? FIERCE!).

I’d also want a steady supply of sheer glosses to balance out those heavy eyeliner looks.

Ahoy, matey! Bobbi Brown has yer solution, and it’s not just for buccaneers and marauders. If you have a soft spot for sheer gloss, you just might like the five new $23 Lip Glosses from the Caviar & Oyster Collection.

Like a hunk of driftwood or a bottle with a message inside (“Please send gravy!”), the eight-piece release recently washed up on Bobbi Brown counters, delighting makeup treasure hunters with a palette, a nail polish, a dual-ended mascara and the five new glosses in predominantly cool-toned neutral shades.

The hook? — no, not the one replacing Blackbeard’s hand. With the collection, Bobbi aimed to offer her fans the option of going strong and smokey or soft and pretty.

But here’s the thing about the glosses: even the darker shades, like Moonlight Pearl and Black Pearl, seem pretty tame to me, so you might want to blank them out first with a layer of concealer.

From the left: Brightening Lip Gloss in White, Brightening Lip Gloss in Moonlight Pearl, Shimmer Lip Gloss in Black Pearl, High Shimmer Lip Gloss in Oyster and Shimmer Lip Gloss in Oyster

Swatches from the left: Brightening Lip Gloss in White, Brightening Lip Gloss in Moonlight Pearl, Shimmer Lip Gloss in Black Pearl, High Shimmer Lip Gloss in Oyster and Shimmer Lip Gloss in Oyster

Shimmer Lip Gloss in Black Pearl

If Tabs wasn’t so hell bent on mugging hard for the camera in these pics, it would probably be easier to appreciate the finer points of the new Bobbi Brown Rich Caviar Eye Palette ($47.50), like its mix of mattes, shimmers and glitters, or how its color palette of olive, gold, beige, taupe, gray and dark brown eyeshadows looks kinda like tabby coloring.

Even when I shoo’d him out of the shot, he still found a way to get in the frame (see the tabby tail in the lower right-hand corner?).

The Rich Caviar Eye Shadow Palette, $47.50

Just a couple quick noms from the new limited edition 11-piece Bobbi Brown Holiday 2012 makeup collection.

Nom-nom-nom…

More pics and hard-hitting news to follow! (Hard-hitting, LOL! Not hardly.)

The Bellini Lip & Eye Palette, $75

The Rich Caviar Eye Shadow Palette, $47.50

On the set of An Owl Hoots in the Dark…

“Places, everyone! Places! Okay, Karen, it’s twilight. The sun is setting. Remember, you’re in the desert, and it suddenly strikes you to do your makeup.”

“Okay…”

“Aaaaand, action!”

“Doopdadoo, let’s see… I think I’ll do my makeup now. Seems like a perfectly reasonable thing to do here in the desert, seeing as it’s too dark to read.”

An owl hoots somewhere close by.

“What’s that?! Jeez, I’m really jumpy tonight. That’s gonna make it hard to do my makeup with these little brushes…”

When I was getting ready the other day, I challenged myself to do an entire eye look from start to finish with the four mini brushes in the new limited edition Bobbi Brown Desert Twilight Mini Brush Set ($55), and ya know, I actually got pretty far.

I finished my eyeshadow and liner, both of which I think turned out okay, but then I got stumped.

The Desert Twilight Set comes with a roomy metallic and turquoise pouch (cute!), a tiny Blush Brush, an Eye Sweep Brush (basically, a flat eyeshadow brush), one of Bobbi’s Angle Eye Shadow Brushes, and an Ultra Fine Eye Liner Brush. Here’s the thing, though: it doesn’t come with a blending brush, which makes application a little tricky for me.

I like to use a fluffy, domed eye brush to buff out any edges and create color gradients when I do my makeup (my favorite for blending is the MAC 217).

Now that I think about it…I kinda wish Bobbi had swapped the cheek brush in the set for a fluffy domed blending brush. I mean, I think the cheek brush works fine — I’ve been using it to apply powder beneath my eyes — but for me at least a blending brush would have been more useful.

Oh, and what about brows, B? I know there’s room in that cute little pouch for a small-angle brow brush, too (like the MAC 266). Having one would make filling in my brows with MAC Concrete that much easier.

So, would I ditch my regular arsenal of everyday brushes for the brushes in this kit? Um…probably not, although I wouldn’t hesitate to use it if I suddenly woke up in Vegas one morning without my regular brushes and had to quickly slap on some face paint to be the maid of honor in a spur-of-the-moment wedding at an Elvis-themed chapel.

In a pinch, I think they’d do fine. You might just have to work around some of the set’s limitations, like by using a brow pencil instead of a powder or by packing a separate blending brush.

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