Tuesday Beauty Tips: Boosting Your Confidence

Published in: Beauty Tips, Just For Fun


Today cat blogger Tabs of Party With Tabs shares a few of his favorite tips to boost self-confidence.

What’s up, ladies? This morning I woke up to two things:

  1. The rumbling of my tummy for gravy (I still haven’t figured out how to open up those cans of Fancy Feast without opposable thumbs, damn), and
  2. …the sound of my executive assistant, Karen, blubbering into her pillow.

“Tabs,” she cried, “I have writer’s block the size of freakin’ China. I don’t want to disappoint people, but the honest-to-gawd truth is that I’m not feeling funny, happy or inspired. I feel about as great as a dirty litterbox…that should have been cleaned three days ago.”

Next thing I knew, homegirl was sobbing into my fur, basically ruining the blow-out I just got at the Blo Bar SF.

Having heard enough, I climbed onto her chest, stared deeply into her eyes and said, “Woman, you need to calm the eff down. Get a grip before you end up cutting off your ear Van Gogh-style. You see, I can’t have you doing that. I need your ears fully functional, so you can hear my cries for gravy.”

Well, at least that’s what I intended to say. What ended up coming out of my mouth sounded more like, “Mrrreeeeow. Meooooow.” But I think she got my point.

Since I’m a cat of action, I decided to pitch in today by writing a guest post.

The girl says she hasn’t been feeling very confident about her writing, but I think she just needs to loosen up and get a haircut, maybe also touch up her roots. That always helps. ๐Ÿ™‚

You may not know this about me, but I’m an extremely confident cat. It doesn’t always come natural to me, though. I work hard at cultivating my confidence. I even have a folder filled with helpful bookmarks on the subject of self-esteem…

  • 25 Killer Actions to Boost Your Self-Confidence: Simple concrete steps you can take today to improve your self-image. My favorite one: “Groom yourself.”
  • Boost Your Self-Image with These 5 Steps: Tips on cognitive behavioral therapy (CBT). I know several cats (myself included) who are BIG fans. CBT techniques are based on the notion that behaviors and feelings stem from the ways in which you see yourself and your life. The five steps in the article can help you recognize, challenge and ultimately replace negative thoughts with more positive ones.
  • Boost Your Self-Confidence: An article about self-doubt and slaying the inner critic (I happen to know my assistant’s inner critic has been clocking in some serious OVERTIME lately). I think if you’ve ever felt inadequate or afraid, this one’s a good read.

Question for the group: Do you ever go through bouts of self-doubt? What do you do to get back on track?

Written by Tabs

This post was written by Tabs of Party With Tabs. When he isn’t talking his assistant down from the ledge, you’ll find Tabs begging for gravy or going for long walks on his leash. He splits his professional time between blog consultancy and international cat modeling.


Like this post? Tell your friends!

So far, 41 people have commented on this article. How cool is that?

  1. Hedy says:

    Good going, Tabs!
    .-= Hedy’s last blog post… So I made it two yearsรขโ‚ฌยฆ.. =-.

  2. Aniela says:

    haha Karen you always make me laugh. and u said u werent feeling happy or creative? I call BS on that, i loved this post so much I started laughing out loud and woke up my grouchy bf! But I know how u feel i woke up being veeery blah..probably had something to do with the weather but seriously this post uplifted me. Love reading your stuff, never get discouraged and keep up the amazing work:))
    Now i’m going to go cuddle with Milk and Butters (my 2 kiddies..don’t ask me what I was thinking when I gave them those names haha) have an awesome day hun!
    .-= Aniela’s last blog post… Sally Hershbergerรขโ‚ฌโ„ขs Style Primer for Normal to Thin Hair =-.

  3. Karen! I really hope that you get some inspiration, taking a walk or a hike always helps me! This post was really funny and you have absolutely not lost your touch, hon!! Hope the rest of your week is fun-mazing and maybe what you need to do is just take some time for yourself.

    xoxxo, Polish Earthgirl ๐Ÿ™‚
    .-= Polish Earthgirl’s last blog post… OPI Shrek Forever After Collection =-.

  4. Jen says:

    I. love. this. post. I haven’t LOL’ed at a blog for awhile! Tabs, you’re an awesome kitty for cheering Karen up! ๐Ÿ˜‰

  5. Kathleen says:

    I also call B.S. on not feeling creative! Nobody loves to put words in the mouth of a cat more than I do but I must say this post puts my skills to shame!

  6. Ithfifi says:

    You two are the best duo <3 Your writing style is great, this just proves it. I think we all have those days! I have been taking CBT sessions since before christmas now; It is really helpful (although hard when you've programmed your brain into unhealthy unhelpfult hinking!) But its great to make awareness of this sort of thinking/therapy. Some very useful links I know I will be bookmarking. You must give tabs a hug of gratefulness from me for trying to cheer up <3

  7. Haley says:

    Basically, you are the definitive beauty blogger of the english speaking world. Your commitment and drive is almost unimaginable. The only words that you need to describe yourself are SUCCESSFUL and GIFTED.

  8. Rachael says:

    It was very entertaining. Indie approved very much. As for me, I’m glad you talked about CBT, I’ve been using it for dealing with my anxiety. It helps so much that I can now take a test in a lecture hall with lots and lots of people!! I highly suggest it to anyone and everyone.
    .-= Rachael’s last blog post… License to Thrill: I Wanna be a Bond Girl =-.

  9. Catherine says:

    Great guest post, Tabs!

    I’ve been attending a weekly workshop offered by my campus Psych Services about dealing with dress, emotions, relationships, etc. It’s really helped and we’ve actually gone over a lot of the tips you offered. =)
    .-= Catherine’s last blog post… Zoya Polish Exchange, part 2 (VERY PICTURE HEAVY) =-.

  10. J says:

    Karen, how can you think you are not creative, funny, and a brilliant writer?!
    I don’t know if this comment will reach you in the hundreds you probably get all the time, but when I first read your blog, I thought, Wow. This person is the best blogger I have ever read! You hit all the right spots with your humor, your kindness, and your humility. We can sense that you do care about your readers a lot, and we care a lot about you and your well-being as well! Take care of yourself, Karen; we’ll be here ๐Ÿ™‚

  11. noemii says:

    Doesn’t everyone go through bouts of self-doubt and uncertainty ? I know I do . All the time, and especially as of late about the career path i am taking .
    The fact that you readily admit that you’re not feeling inspired is rather admirable . Why should you be happy all the time ? Being sad only makes happiness all the better when it comes ! [Of course being sad all the time would probably mean you’re depressed and that’s no fun .. but that’s a whoole ‘nother ball park, yes ? :p]
    Your blog makes you seem so approachable and i enjoy reading your blog immensely. I never comment on people’s blogs [like ever] but i do yours haha . You’re an exceptional writer . And I love how dedicated you are to your blog . It’s truly an enjoyable read with all the pretty pictures [with exceptional photo quality! ]
    I don’t think Tabs and yourself taking a break is unwarranted and maybe much needed if you’re getting so stressed .. Taking a step back and collecting yourself is a good thing and best before you become too frazzled . Hell, let this whole month be dedicated to guest posts ! It won’t be as cool as your writing but it’s all gravy ! i’ll still follow and spend money ..in my head ..

  12. Steph B says:

    Of course. Doesn’t everyone? Whenever I’m deep in doubt I run through the old memory file of situations that I think I handled particularly well — friends, family, work, etc. I think about why that example stands out for me and why. Sometimes I can find a useful nugget to apply to the current situation that makes me doubt things, sometimes I just get the little boost of knowing I have handled tough stuff before and can do it again. I also rely on my kitchen cabinet of professional allies to help me think through tough work situations. They have free license to kick my butt as needed.

    In the end, you just keep breathing in and out.

  13. mkdallas says:

    Ditto to all the smart and encouraging posts listed above. Karen, I think you are a wonderful writer and your blog is the one I go to first thing in the day when I get some computer time. It must be truly daunting to try to come up with new topics and products every day; it’s also not always easy to get psyched up to talk makeup day in and day out (heresy, I know!), which is why I love your other posts about life in general. There are a myriad of beauty bloggers out there who only post every few days; you are so prolific that I’m sure you get worn out trying to keep MBB fresh and fabulous every morning and afternoon. If you need a break, I second the excellent suggestion from Noemii…send out a call for guest bloggers and we’ll be happy to jump in…or just take a sabbatical til you sort things out. Whatever you do, I hope you know that you have many fans who think you and Tabs are the bomb diggity.

  14. Karen says:

    Y’all are making me cry… in a good way.

  15. Camille says:

    Tabs, please tell Karen that Makeup & Beauty Blog is always the highlight of my day!

    Everyone has down days, and it’s perfectly ok. Just know that you bring sunshine to many, many people. ๐Ÿ™‚

  16. Paris B says:

    Karen you ARE funny (this post proves it) and your posts always sound happy and inspiring even if you may not feel that way. I think sometimes its the extra effort you put in to make it so ๐Ÿ™‚ When I feel this way, I like to take a step back, cut back on posting to just once or twice a day to make it less overwhelming and get back into the groove when the emotions aren’t so much of a roller coaster. It makes me feel better and it might help you too. ๐Ÿ™‚
    .-= Paris B’s last blog post… Dior Addicted to Dior Summer 2010 : Addicted to Dior, Nude Glow and Crystal Gloss Pictures =-.

  17. KarenW says:

    Hey, Tabs, I know what you can do to cheer your Karen up. Hork up a big hairball in the hallway, right outside the bedroom door. She’ll love it! My Karen looked a lot more alert when she stepped in it this morning–much less down and depressed.

    Of course, I then wound up locked in the garage for a while.



  18. Karen says:


    I rarely take the time to comment but I honestly think you are a fab writer <3

    – Myra

  19. Julbra says:

    Aw, thanks for this post Karen (and Tabs of course). These tips were really helpful! I never thought talking slower would earn me more respect…I’ll have to try that along with the other advice.
    .-= Julbra’s last blog post… Got My Macage! aka Mac Mini Haul =-.

  20. I admire you so much for putting all those posts out there. There are many weeks when I try to post every day, but can’t even make that, and you manage to post two or three times a day. Not only that, I really do enjoy reading your posts. I always hit up your blog first before any of the other beauty blogs when I get home. It’s funny and informative, and you really put your personality into everything you write. Whenever I have writers block, I usually check out a bunch of books (old ones to reread and new ones too) from the library, and just read them all. I find talking to my friends helps too, not necessarily about writing, just about anything. Talking and reading usually get me right back on track where I need to be. hope your day looks up ๐Ÿ™‚
    .-= makeup morsels’s last blog post… Miscellaneous Monday Morsels 5/10 =-.

  21. Glosslizard says:

    Hey girl! The first thing I do when I have bouts of self-doubt or confusion or unhappiness is give myself a day or two to experience them! I find that most times, if I just allow myself a few days to feel, ultimately the feelings resolve by themselves and I naturally move back into a cheerier place! On the rare occasions that I don’t cheer up on my own, I turn to my wonderful friends and family for a little picking up, they’re always there for me! I also try to find the joy in little things, like a soft, warm kitty or a simple golden-neutral eye look!

    That having been said, I think you are one of the most creative, buoyant and eloquent people I know! I’ve recommended your blog to so many people saying “she’s such a great writer!” Having a blue period doesn’t change any of that! Just remember that we out here in comment-land are your friends and we support you! ๐Ÿ™‚

    P.S. Nefret, Sama and P-Lily were most enamored of Tabs’ post and went on and on about the attractiveness of a “confident tom”. Go figure. ๐Ÿ˜‰

  22. JMD says:

    To channel a cat and write something so witty is truly a talent.

  23. Marlo says:

    I know you’re not fishing for compliments, but I totally have to give them now. ๐Ÿ™‚ You’ve been my favorite blogger ever since I first stumbled upon MBB. Your posts are funny and personal, like I’m reading the words of a girl friend, not just a random person on the internet. And I always love seeing Tabs everywhere on here, because I’m a fellow cat slave. I know the blog must be a big time commitment, and I always appreciate getting to read each of your entries.

  24. Melissa says:

    aww karen, you’re doing just fine in my eyes! just try to remember all the great things you see in yourself, what your husband loves about you (ask him! i love fishing for compliments from my boo when i’m down, with no shame! ๐Ÿ™‚ ) and think of all the compliments you’ve received lately, or ever, even, that you really took to heart! that’s what i do… hang in there!

  25. sureyya says:

    awww big hugs! I’ve been going through a sad bout myself, upset that my family keep picking on me, university drama, and my lack of an internship (which i need for my degree) It’s easy to blame yourself, which I have been doing ๐Ÿ™ But poking about at my makeup and watching some good tv and hugging my kitty does send the blues away for a while. I really appreciate your blog! it cheers me up, and it’s so funny and tabs is awesooome!!!

  26. Sonja says:

    Yep I’m just gonna continue with all the compliments as your blog is always on my bookmark bar and one of the first things I open in the morning! Your post are funny and informative and in general- awesome!!! And talking about reaching far across the world, girl, I live in Split, Croatia, that is literally across the world!

    Give some gravy to lovely Tabs, now I must go and feed my cat…she is staring at me again with that ”feed-now-or-suffer”look.

  27. inaya says:

    Don’t feel that way Karen. Your my make-up mogul. I check your site at least thrice a day.. even when i have exams. your writing is sth I looks forward to as a. Your a great stress reliever. Much love, Inaya

  28. Nina says:

    I hear ya Tabs! I love love love it when youre here to boost us all up.

    Karen — hang in there and think of it this way — its Wednesday. Almost the weekend. Smile, pretty lady! ๐Ÿ™‚

  29. Kim says:

    Tabs, please let Karen know this secret: I’ve never been a big make-up person and came across her blog while looking for something for work. Since that time (after reading about 100 blogs), this is one of 2 that I come back to everyday. I’ve been inspired to try new products and experiment with techniques (Karen, I tightline for all evening events now, for goodness sake!). Your creativity and positive, engaging writing have made me interested in a subject I never thought too much about before. And let me just add that I’m not easily impressed, particularly with other people’s writing. Please keep doing what you’re doing, especially since I use your stuff as an example to our company blogger of what great writing and photoshopping looks like! ๐Ÿ™‚ PS I hope you’ll be getting some inspiration from your comments section. Everyone here seems to be on the same page. ๐Ÿ™‚

  30. NeenaJ says:

    Hi Karen, I just had to post to let you know that I’ve been reading your blog for quite some time now. But, back in November, I became a mom for the first time. I decided to breastfeed and even though I’m back at work full-time, I can pump 2-3 times a day in my office. For most women to even be able to pump, they need to be relaxed and in good spirits. Ever since I’ve been back to work, I dedicate my morning pumping session to reading MBB.

    Now, this may be TMI for some, but I think it is important that you realize that this isn’t some trivial thing you’re doing. Your words are literally providing sustenance. While makeup itself isn’t life-changing, the effect it can have on someone’s mood and overall feeling of self-appreciation is tremendous. Furthermore, your writing about it provides thousands of women all over the world a chance to relax and indulge. And my son truly appreciates the comfort and relaxation you provide to me, so I can provide for him.

    As for beating those blues, put on some music that makes you smile and dance like a fool around your house! (Watch out for horked, hairballs!)

  31. Liz G. says:

    Karen, I love your blog. You are one of the funniest, freshest, inspired writers I have ever read. It takes a pretty special person to make the reader feel like we are friends, even though we have never met and probably never will. Treat yourself to a spa day at a great day spa and just spend the day chilling and focusing on you. And then spend some quality time cuddling with Tabs. Cuddling with my pets usually works for me! and never forget that you have a huge bunch of readers who love you. Keep on blogging!

  32. stalkthepostman says:

    I’ve been reading your blog every darn day for 2 years, yo. I have over 100 blogs on my Reader, but yours is the one I always go to first. I hope everything you’ve read above makes you realize that you have so many people that genuinely care about you – even if we’ve never met you, or even commented on your blog. You’re smart, sassy, and funny as hell, but your best trait is your ability to relate to people in such a down-to-earth way. You’re so warm and welcoming, we feel as though we know the REAL you – not some internet form of you. When I watch your videos, I laugh so hard…seriously, when I think about that time you sang full-on into your hairbrush, I almost pee myself. Every. Time. You’re the best in the biz.

  33. Erin says:

    LOL Karen, this post is one of the reasons why your blog is my favorite blog EVERRRRRRRRRRRRR (although Party with Tabs is a really close second).
    Don’t put too much pressure on yourself. We all love reading your blog and I think I speak for a lot of people when I say that we just love YOU being yourself!
    .-= Erin’s last blog post… Polish of the Week: China Glaze Reggae to Riches =-.

  34. Lisa S. says:

    I have self-doubt constantly. You’d think at 45 I’d be done with it, but no it constanly rears it’s little head (kinda like Vladimer Putin, at Palins Alaska) :0) But I just grab it by the neck and yell at the little f’ker till it shrivels up and dies.

    Sorry, my inner Spartacus comes out when we talk about self-confidence or lack there-of! ;0)

  35. Ashley says:

    Aww I’ve always been a lurker of this blog, but I decided I need to come out of the shadows and make myself be known! I’ve had a blog on and off for going on seven years now, and I always struggled with lack of inspiration and the like. I think it’s expected of pretty much everyone, no matter what they’re doing. I can see where you would have even more trouble coming up with ideas to write about because this blog is limited to just one type of thing (make-up)! I definitely think it’s important to take a break every once and a while, even if it’s just for a few hours doing something that you feel like doing! Just totally forget whatever it is you’re having problems with. Then, you can come back refreshed and the pressure won’t be such a big deal.

    As for self-doubt…oh yes, I have it! Most of the time it’s just a short phase though. I think all the comments above me definitely say what I’m thinking: your blog (and you!) (and Tabs!) is ahh-mazing. You run a highly successful beauty blog! It’s my favorite because you aren’t afraid to be yourself and be different. How many other blogs have an animal friend mascot who actually writes blog posts? I can’t think of any. And although I’ve never entered a giveaway or contest, I think it’s awesome that they’re a part of your site, just to cheer people up. So be confident!

  36. your posts are a joy to read. When I go through writers block,honestly I take a break. There is nothing wrong with that.

  37. Heather says:

    Dear Karen,
    I absolutely love your writing and think you are an AMAZING blogger. I have bookmarked your blog and I read it everyday – reading your posts always makes me smile :). You are truly an inspiration for girls and women everywhere, and I just wanted you to know how much I (and the rest of your readers) love you!

  38. Annalisa says:

    Hi Karen! this is my 2nd time commenting. Your blog is really cool! and your cat is beautiful! me too I have 2 cats! Just love them! a hugg from Italy ๐Ÿ˜‰

  39. Eileen says:

    Good job, Tabs! Give Karen a head rub for all of us.

  40. keegan says:

    oh wow! i love this article! THANKS!!
    .-= keegan’s last blog post… Tarte Cosmetics – Cheap on Hautelook.com 5/18/10 =-.

  41. isha says:

    Hey Karen,
    I do believe that makeup boosts confidence , if you don’t let it over power you
    Hehhe so excited , finally found the courage to post this without being over critical , this is my first makeup tutorial the lighting is not perfect , the camera is not the best , but the intent is 100% genuine to share what i feel , hope you all enjoy ๐Ÿ™‚ , please comment rate and subscribe if you like it , show some love รขโ„ขยฅ


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